Psychology 101 for aging pilots

Two aviation weather jargon terms meaning low IFR weather are "Socked in" and "Fogged in". Well I've combined the two terms into a new term to describe my little farm airstrip. "Sogged in". I've now paid for four months of tie down at Cambridge, where my Cher OH kee sits. My airstrip is closed indefinitely. To say it is soggy is an understatement. I've been considering putting an "X" on the middle of the strip, but I havn't figured out a good way to do it. Most everyone who might come in is savvy enough to know not to try it without calling me. But I still worry a little. I was lucky to get the M 10 and the Cher OH kee out when the gettin' was good. I really can't complain. In the twelve years of having the landing strip, this three month stretch is the first time the strip has ever been closed for a whole season. And it's the first time I've actually had to buy monthly tie down somewhere to keep operating. Yes, I've had floods and storms, but I've worked around them and moved the plane for a week or two. Even through two hurricanes. If I could only have the airstrip for three seasons a year I would still work hard to have it. I love everything about it. I even love mowing it. Most of the time. The airstrip has kind of "framed" or "defined" who I am in a way. The same way I had a certain "identity" when I was an airline pilot. Before I retired I used to think that I would retire when I lost my medical, or when I reached age sixty. I never dreamed I would walk out the door with only what seems like a split second decision to quit. And I was not sixty and I had a brand new first class medical in my pocket. I don't know whether early retirement was the right decision for me at that time. But it sure feels right. I know why it feels right. Because of an interesting thing called "cognitive dissidence". If I learned about it in college forty years ago I sure had forgotten about it. But my friend the professor mentioned it to me once and it cleared up something in my mind about why some idiot friend of mine was acting a certain way. That was years ago and now I've read books about it. Cognitive dissidence causes you to set up rationale in your mind to justify the things that you do. Or say, or think, or believe. So I "know" I made the right decision to retire because: I was sick of the job, the industry was no fun anymore, the airline was bankrupt, I was tired of the commute... whine.. whine.. blah blah... But if I had stayed on at good ole "Northworst" (now Delta) I would have also "known" I had made the right decision because: son was still in college, build up bigger retirement, keep the ego/identity I felt as a successful pilot blah..blah.. No matter what I did I would be right. We all want to be right very very much. So we make our decisions "right" by finding supporting information and ignoring non supporting information. I do it. We all do it. When the professor first mentioned it to me I didn't realize what a huge thing it is in all of our minds. When you gain insight into the way you think, you can sometimes make yourself more at peace and less confused. Am I too old to learn this stuff? Set in my ways? I hope not. A part time hobby of mine has become the study of how I can grow old gracefully, and happily and quietly yield to the things I can not control, and be somewhat proactive about what I can control. I really thought I would be troubled after I retired about not having the identity of an "airline pilot". This, and would I have enough money, were the two big fears. Well, good ole cognitive dissidence took care of it. Once retirement was a done deal and there was no turning back, my mind wouldn't even let me doubt. I've got some good buddies out there who are pro pilots and my age who have not retired and are maybe thinking about it. You guys can retire anytime you want and you'll never look back. Remember I told you so! Oh, and the money? No need to worry there. That one is easy. There is never enough money!